


A cross to bear

by jackycleo



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Brain Tumour, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentions of Cancer, Minor Character Death, Scisaac - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-11
Updated: 2013-10-11
Packaged: 2017-12-29 03:33:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1000380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jackycleo/pseuds/jackycleo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Where Isaac's guilt is too heavy to bear.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A cross to bear

**Author's Note:**

> This story is set somewhere in the middle of Season 3A where Derek and Isaac still live together.
> 
> I wrote this as an extra for Mira for our roleplay, so I think I have to share some more details about what happened earlier, so it might be easier to understand... but I'll will put those information in the notes at the end, so I'm not spoilering you here.
> 
> ...so enjoy reading the story first :) If there are questions left in the end, you can read the notes at the end (or ask me :)! )
> 
> Isaac, Derek and Scott don't belong to me and the poem is from asofterworld.com, so it's not mine either.

 

 

 

_I don't know how to make things right._

 

It had been the shortest six months in his entire life.

Isaac walks slowly through the forest. He was told that the spot was anonymous but he thought he would maybe feel a kind of connection somewhere. But there is no connection and he walks on.

He had changed a lot the last months, had been aggressive, had been screaming at him, had even hit him a few times. Isaac misses the pain. He hates himself for being a werewolf, hates himself for healing so quickly, for not heaving any scars left. It would be easier if he had something visible, for everyone to see.  
He wishes he had bruises and cuts and scars, wishes there was something left after those six months, those 181 days, even if it would be something so ugly.

He had sent him away as long as he had remembered him, as long as he was able to speak, as long as the morphine wasn't fogging what was left of him, what wasn't devoured by the tumor yet.

Isaac had been there. Every single day. Had watched him even though he didn't know him anymore, even if he was sleeping most of the time to stand the pain.

 

On the way back to their loft, he has to stop on the side of the road and throws up.  
He had been having sex with him while thinking of Scott. His best friend. His best friend and also the one he hadn't talked to since he had started spending most of his time at the hospital. He had ignored his calls, his text messages.  
Isaac sinks on his knees and pukes again.  
He didn't love him! He had loved Scott all the time, every single second. He was sure it would fade. That he would fall in love with this wonderful man who treated him like the most precious thing in the world. Who had been so much like himself: Self-confident on the outside, insecure on the inside.  
He had believed he would be able to love him like he loved Scott, care about him like he cared about Scott but it hadn't worked and now it was too late. There was no future for them anymore.

Isaac had been holding his hand until the very end and it was the hardest thing not because of the cancer,the unpreventable death, but that he felt like a liar all the time.  
Those nurses that hugged him every time they had a bad message, the doctors who gave him looks of commiseration, who told him they were so sorry for him.  
He deserved none of it. He hadn't been the boyfriend, he was supposed to be and so he deserved no sympathy at all.

 

When he arrives at the loft, he quickly sorts the things he bought into the fridge.  
It's still like Derek hasn't been in a supermarket his entire life. He always forgets half of the stuff that's written on the list and there hadn't been a single time Isaac didn't have to go back to the store to get the missing things. Seriously, had Derek been living on protein shakes the last six years?

Later he showers and brushes his teeth to get rid off the horrible taste in his mouth. He doesn't feel any cleaner when he's finished.

 

Eventually he calls Scott.  
“Dude, why didn't you call for four months?! I didn't see you, got no text, nothing! Even Derek couldn't help me, though you live with him! Isaac, I was worried! What happened?”  
“Nothing... it's fine. Everything is fine. Look... I'm sorry, I didn't respond...”

In the end Scott believes him – the part that he is sorry, not the part where he tells him everything is fine but he has to live with it. He knows Isaac won't tell him and it really scares him. They never had had any secrets.  
It doesn't scare Isaac any less.

 

Another three weeks go by until it happens.

“Isaac..!”, Derek yells and searches for him.  
“Does this look like my favourite honey to you?”, he points at the honey tube in his hands. “Who can't you tell a damn tube from a freaking glass? I said the honey in the glass!”  
Isaac just stares at him, then he suddenly goes down, presses his back against the wall and hides his face.  
“Please hit me...”  
“I won't....wait what?”  
“Hit me.”, Isaac whispers, close to tears.  
“Isaac, I... it's just honey...”  
“Hit me!”, Isaac screams at Derek's face, tears burning in his eyes before he finally sinks down completely and starts to cry.

Isaac doesn't hear anything. He can't hear himself shouting and screaming, hitting the floor over and over until his knuckles break and blood runs over his hand. He can't feel the pain.  
He screams his name but he doesn't hear a single sound coming out of his mouth.

 

He wakes up and his hand feels like he had broken every single bone in it. He smells the dried blood and knows its already healing but he can feel the pain and it's good.  
He breathes in and smells something familiar.  
“You made me a hot chocolate.”  
“By now it's tepid, I guess.”

Isaac is wrapped into a warm, cozy blanket and Derek sits right next to him.  
“Here...”, he carefully presses a small plastic bag filled with ice against Isaac's destroyed hand and the teenager hisses in pain but relaxes quickly.  
“I hope it helps... I'm not really a first aid pro since we usually don't need those...”

Isaac looks the cup with 'tepid chocolate' in it.  
“Did I break something?”  
“Your hand.”  
“I mean.. the floor.”  
“Isaac.”  
He doesn't look up.  
“No, you didn't but I'm still pretty mad at you because of the honey.”  
“I'm sorry.”, he replies silently and Derek sighs.  
“I don't know... but.. maybe we could do the shopping together from now on..?”, he suggests after a moment of silence.

Isaac nods.

 

 

_So I'll just keep pretending  
_

_that nothing's wrong._

**Author's Note:**

> ... So my explanation as promised:  
>  Isaac had a boyfriend who died because of a brain tumour - before he knew his boyfriend was ill, he cheated on him by having sex with Scott (It didn't mean anything to Scott though).
> 
>  
> 
> If you found any (grammar) mistakes, please let me know!
> 
> You can contact me here or via tumblr (jackycleo.tumblr.com) :)


End file.
